Season Wrap Up

Just what we're waiting for. The end of the season and thankfully, the end of this blog.

So we were hangin last night, playing a little card and one guy, we'll call him Gary, had an observation. At the end of last week Bret tells Taya why he chose her. Reason one, she's hot. Reason two, she's hot enough to be a playmate. Reason three, did he mention that she's hot? After some deliberation today, I've come to realize that Gary was dead-on. And not that there is anything wrong with Bret's lines, but I just figured out that there's nothing to Taya except her hotness. She's soo focused on how she looks and what others think of her. I don't mean soo focused, but totally focused. There's nothing to her. She's as hollow as a chocolate Easter Bunny (sorry, wrote the first part before I could come up with something hollow. Daisy's head maybe??)



Do you think they'll bring Heather and Laci back for the reunion?? And if yes, why???

As we start the show, we have a commercial for the world premier of Greenday's new video on VH1. First, isn't VH1 for older people like us? Two, aren't video premiers one of the lamest thoughts you've heard in a while. Who in their right mind would go out of their way to watch the premier of a video?? They are midgets aren't they???

So they are introducing the girls. Hell, don't remember half of them. One of them looks like the chick from 'band camp' in American Pie.

They start us off with the belly dancer. What a wierd chick. Then she drops the bomb about her vow of celebacy. They they decide to interview her. She's contributed absolutely nothing to the show and they bring her up. Now, she's MARRIED. So, let's get this straight. She turned down Bret then blew the vow when she left and got married on Christmas night by a naked cowboy in Times Square. Damn, to top it all off, she gives him a third-eye dot to stick on his bandana. Someone, please, pull her off of the stage. That was painful.

So how do you get into the audience for this show? Do you get paid? Free drinks?? Something. Anything.

Two of the girls are already married and one is even pregnant. And she's someone I don't even recognize.

We get Marcia next. The puking kisser. Then back to the screaming on the original bus loading with the chick too drunk to stand at the first elimination. Oh, all three drunks. To Marcia's credit, no regets. So what does this contribute? "DJ Lady Tribe" (PA-Leeeeeze) says that "alcohol rehab is cool". Bottom feeders of the world unite!!!!

Laugh track??? Lame. Audience??? Fake.

Does anyone think that if Ashley's hair was allowed to be naturally dark that she'd fall in line with Elvira? Her hair is hideous. Would you give $20 for a lap dance from that??

They bring down the Blondeterage. Melissa. Oh yeah, the chick that blew the boob on the ice. Ah, and Ashley is drunk again.

Farrah is doing a great impression of Daisy with her "like" use. And she carries the lip gloss in between the boobs. What's really funny is that the last time we saw Farrah, she came as close as she could to being a real person when she was eliminated and then she mixes with Ashley and it all goes ugly again. Charming, to the last.

Brittaney. Lame. Lame. Lame. She really needs to go back to porn. So they go down the race card with girl who used to be a guy. Then, the girl who used to be a guy goes off on one of the others who claimed she was actually "Nathaniel" instead of "Natalie" who responds with the claim that s/he makes six-figured doing porn. Is that hermaphroditic porn? Is she a chick with a dick??? Either way, s/he kicks some ass. One last cat fight for the road. Paging Big John.

Now we're down to Mindy. Yep, we're right. She's still the class of the show. And she looks as hot as she did on that final night. Holy hell, are they gonna do it in the welcome kiss? Bret's adjusting. The wife did notice that he comes out with some awfully tight pants in this show.

Did the host just say that Daisy is one of his best friends??? Ricky Rackman, who produces the show and a lame Rock of Racing show on radio, has Daisy as one of his best friends?? Maybe he should re-evaluate his friend selection criteria? Maybe he should embrace "alone time"; it is really not that bad.

That said, we love it when Ricky lays it on the line and says that Bret made the wrong choice.

Mindy is pouring her heart out. Big John is near to tears. Awww. Bret says that he thinks they'll be close in the future. For what??? Why would she want to hang with him? Who puts themselves through that torture? A daily kick in the gonads is what everyone wants.

To Taya. In the recap we see the wedding chapel scene where she gives him a copy of a her first photo shoot and the lingerie she was wearing. Do Penthouse Pets carry around copies of their spread like we do a business card?

Oh, BTW, at the Peace Street Market yesterday we saw the Penthouse issue with her on the cover. Great restraint from buying it. What's a man to do when his wife says, "What? We're not getting the Penthouse?" You have to seize these moments, I'm sure that one may never come again.

The stripper blondteragecrowd turns their back on Taya. Funny.

Mindy is calling Taya out. Getting a little catty. How much facial surgery has Taya had?

We get down to the ring. This is stupid. So stupid. Would anyone in their right mind propose in front of that crowd to someone they, frankly, hardly know and haven't seen or spent any time with in MONTHS? What kind of memory would that plant. Do you want to look back ten years from now and wax poetic about the proposal someone else scripted in front of these skanks and these losers in the crowd? (the crowd sucks. seriously.)

Someone should get sharp objects away from Mindy. She's in a whole new brand of funk. Poor girl.

Taya just painted herself as a victim. Poor Taya. Everyone say it, "Poor Taya." She won the event and is playing the sympathy card. Taya is hedging her bets against it all falling apart. And Bret backs her up. Weak.

All in all, we regret losing that hour of our life. We'll never get that back. Booo.